STEWIE'S OUTING
by ziegler
Summary: Stewie becomes suspiscious when he feels aroused when he is near Brian.
1. Chapter 1 Stewie becomes Suspiscous

CHAPTER 1 STEWIE BECOMES SUSPICIOS

"Oh, it feels good to drink," explained Peter.

"Peter, we drink every day," said Brian.

"Well at least I don't drink from the toilet, bring dead animals inside, chew up the furniture, bark at company, hide from the vacuum, and poop by the door," exclaimed Peter.

"Peter, you do those things to!" said Brian.

"Well that may be true, but, but, oh I hate when I don't have a good comeback!"

"So Cleveland, got a girlfriend?" asked Quagmire.

"Yes, I do and it is amazing that I have been going out with her for a whole season and you haven't banged her yet," yelled Cleveland.

"Way to break the fourth wall there Cleveland," said Joe.

"I'm just anxious because there hasn't been a cutaway yet," said Cleveland.

CUTAWAY

(The cookie monster is eating vegetables.)

"Peter, I need you to watch Stewie while I go to the store," said Lois.

"But Lois, I'm drinking with guys now."

"Just do it!"

Lois hands Stewie to Peter. Peter throws Stewie beside him.

"This is just great, yet I feel somewhat aroused now." said Stewie.

Stewie looks around at all the guys and feels funny. He has felt this before, but not to this degree.

"What the devil? This is more awkward than the time I met Michael Jackson.

CUTAWAY

"Oh my, you are Michael Jackson!"

"This moment would be more special if you took off your clothes." said Michael.

"Brian, I feel weird. I feel a sense of excitement."

"What do you mean Stewie?"

"I'm not sure."


	2. Chapter 2 Meg tries to be popular again

CHAPTER 2 MEG ATTEMPTS TO FIT IN AGAIN

Meg is at school in the halls when she comes up to Connie. Meg says hi, but Connie doesn't respond.

"Hey Connie, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house to try on clothes with me and watch Click," said Meg.

"First off, try on clothes? That sounds really gay. You are more confused than Pete Burns. Second, why would I even come to your house? Your brother would peep at me, your dad would make me feel awkward, your mom would question me about everything, and your baby brother would probably want me to make a porn with him. Fourth, Click? What a bad plot!

CUTAWAY

"What happens when a guy finds a remote that can change his life right before his eyes? Lets fast forward 30 years. (HE IS LYING IN BED NEXT TO HIS PARTNER, HE BECAME GAY AFTER HIS WIFE LEFT HIM.)"

"But I just thou…."

"Yeah, that right Meg, you thought, and you thought wrong, so go take these sleeping pills into the bathroom, take them, and see what happens," exclaimed Connie.


	3. Chapter 3 Stewie in Denial

CHAPTER 3 STEWIE EXPLORES HIS INNER THOUGHTS

Stewie decided to see a therapist to discuss what has been going on. The therapist suggested Stewie explore his inner thoughts and recall the past. Stewie realizes how flamboyant he is. However he feels no different afterward and punches the therapist, takes his money back, and walks out.

"That was a bigger waste of time than George W. Bush's term in office."

CUTAWAY

(A TV SPECIAL IS ON ABOUT GEORGE BUSH) "He managed to start a mortgage crisis, let gas prices spike, and break the world!"

"Well, now I understand why they threw shoes at him," said Stewie.

"So Stewie, did you find out what's wrong with you?"

"No Brian, only that I am flamboyant," said Stewie.

"Umm…. Wow!"

"Wait a minute, Brian what if… No way."

"What Stewie?"

"What if I'm…. No, no that's not it!"

Stewie tries to figure out what it could be. He continues to deny the truth though.

"Stewie, denying the truth will make you as crazy has Peter when he smokes weed."

CUTAWAY

(PETER ATTEMPTS TO SET UP S CUTAWAY DURING THE CUTWAY, INSTEAD TO FALL OVER AND POOP HIS SELF.)

"I'm not denying anything, you bastard!"

"Calm down, Stewie," yelled Brian.

"Maybe I should turn on the vacuum and chase you with it," yelled Stewie.

"What the hell?" said Brian.

Stewie then decides to walk out of the room, but then returns with the vacuum and chases Brian around. Brian runs into Peter. Peter goes to fight him, but then, the giant chicken appears and Peter and the chicken begin a three hour fight. They destroy the city and at the end, Peter actually kills the chicken, or does he?

Peter returns to then continue his fight with Brian. Stewie sits back and watches Brian and then he realizes something.


	4. Chapter 4 Meg has a new Friend

CHAPTER 4 MEG'S NEW FRIENDS

Meg is at school again, but today is going to be different. As Meg walks down the hall, Connie whispered her name from the closed bathroom. Meg decided to walk in, knowing it was a risk.

"Meg? I have decided to attempt to be friends with you."

"You know what Connie? You have caused me so much pain. I know you are just going to embarrass me. So you know what? You can go screw yourself!"

"Meg, I am being serious. I want to secretly be your friend. You are extremely ugly, but I can change that."

"Wow Connie! This is so exciting! All my friends dumped me earlier, so I have been more lonely than Lindsey Lohan."

CUTAWAY

(Lindsey Lohan is at a party with nothing but guys, she cannot do anything because she is a lesbian.)

"So Meg, how about you come to my house and I will give you a makeover? I will make you look better than that octuplet mom after she had surgery."

"Wow she is so pretty!" said Meg.

"Meg, that is what a lesbian would say, but oh I forgot you ar…. I'm sorry. I'm not used to this whole nice thing."

Later that night, Meg got ready to go over to Connie's house.

"Meg? What the hell are you doing?"

"I am going over to Connie's dad."

"Since when do you have friends?"

"Since Connie has decided to be nice to me."

"What is wrong with the world?"

"MOM!"

"What is it Meg?"

"Dad is being a jerk!"

"Meg! I told you! As long as you continue to be fugly, no one is going to be nice to you!"

"That's not true. I'm going over to Connie's tonight and she is going to give me a makeover!'

"I'm surprised she has not killed herself yet," exclaimed Peter.

Meg then went upstairs only to find a guy from the football team raiding her bedroom. He saw her and jumped out her now broken window. Meg ran to Connie's house to see if she knew anything. Connie says she has no idea, but she has a worried look on her face. She then quickly starts the makeover. Then after she starts she gets a phone call and talks about messing them up good. Chris then shows up saying he was invited here for a makeover. Meg is upset until Connie says it's okay. She then resumes the makeover, but then a rock hits her window. Meg jumped and Chris wet himself. Connie opened the window, whispered and went downstairs. When she got back she told Meg to take off her shirt as part of the makeover. She wouldn't do it because Chris was there. Connie said that Chris would need to take off his pants. As soon as they did, a camera flashed and Connie now had pictures of Meg, who has no boobs, and Chris, whose penis is so large it's freakish and sick.


	5. Chapter 5 Stewie is Out

CHAPTER 5 STEWIE IS OUT

After Meg and Chris's embarrassments, they went home and locked themselves in their rooms.

Peter and Lois went out to dinner, so it was basically just Brian and Stewie.

"Hey B to Rian!"

"Stewie that is so annoying and you need to just shut the hell up."

"Gosh man! I was just trying to start a conversation man!"

After that Stewie went to the kitchen to get his apple juice and then went and sat on the couch next Brian. For a long time they both sat there without saying a single word to one another. Stewie continuously looked up at Brian with a passionate look on his face, but Brian did not notice a single thing. Stewie felt sad and felt that this was pointless. He wanted to go to his room, but something was telling him to stay. He stayed, but felt a sense of guilt. He did not know what to do. He tried to talk several times but nothing came out. He felt somewhat ashamed and wanted to curl up and die.

"B-B-Br-Bri-Brian?"

"what?"

"I-I-I j-just wanted to sss…. Nevermind.

"Wow," said Brian.

Stewie felt even worse and realized he would just have to come out with it. He knew he would just continue to feel worse if he didn't.

"What the hell Brian, I'm just gonna come right out with this. Brian, I love you with much compassion. I would love to be with you."

"What the hell? Stewie I'm not a homo. Everyone already guessed you were though."

"This is quite a shock and disappointment. Can we not tell anyone about this?"

"Your secret is safe with me."

"Thanks bud! Well it looks like I have solved this one. Tune in next week to see what hot water I put myself in. don not read the damn guide because it just gives it away.

The whole cast walks in. Peter, Lois, Brian, Stewie, Meg, Chris, Quagmire, Cleveland, Joe, Susie, Bonnie, Mort, Connie, the football team, Neil, Murial, the greased up def guy, Lindsey Lohan, and the therapist.

"Good night everybody," said the whole cast.

(the ending then turns into a Saturday Night Live ending like ending.


End file.
